Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
