Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
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