Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I just cut my nipple shaving
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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