Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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