You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
