She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
