You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize