I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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