school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
