Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
