Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
