I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize