Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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