He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
