found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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