Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I checked into jail on foursquare
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
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