Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Randomize
