Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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