South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
