okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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