is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize