Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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