You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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