we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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