i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
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