I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
