Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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