dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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