my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
