we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
