Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
