I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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