want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
