I didn't shave. On purpose
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
We just shotgunned beers for America
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
