Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
This house was built for laser tag.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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