she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
My penis needs a shock collar
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
