Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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