I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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