Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
