It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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