Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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