I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
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