Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
