idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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