dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Randomize
