Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
no. you can't hotbox the world.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
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