i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Congratulations! We have a period
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
