a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
