i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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