Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
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