every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
