If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
