i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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