And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
