How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
He had one of those small greek statue penises
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Randomize
