ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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