What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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