He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
