Those balls look pretty dangerous.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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