jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
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