I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
