The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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