He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Randomize
