glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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