Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
