...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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