dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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