just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
