my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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