i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
