I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
