Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
PANTIES FOUND
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
