that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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