so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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