I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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