I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
